Recognizing the Patterns of Power and Control
Domestic violence is rarely an isolated burst of anger. It is a systematic pattern of behavior used by an abuser to establish and maintain total power over their partner. Many forms leave no physical scars.
If you or someone you love is experiencing the following behaviors, it is a sign of an abusive relationship:
Knowing the Signs of Domestic Violence
Physical Abuse
Physical Force: Hitting, slapping, choking, punching, pushing, or physically restraining you.
Withholding Necessities: Denying you access to food, water, sleep, medication, or medical care.
Coercion: Forcing or pressuring you into sexual acts against your will, or manipulating you through guilt.
Psychological/Emotional Abuse
Insults and Demeaning Language: Constantly putting you down, calling you names, or humiliating you in front of others.
Extreme Isolation: Controlling who you see, talk to, or spend time with, effectively cutting you off from supportive communities.
Gaslighting: Denying facts, lying about events, or manipulating your perception of reality to make you doubt your own sanity.
Threats: Threatening to hurt you, your children, your pets, or themselves if you leave.
Sexual Abuse
Physical Force: Hitting, slapping, choking, punching, pushing, or physically restraining you.
Withholding Necessities: Denying you access to food, water, sleep, medication, or medical care.
Coercion: Forcing or pressuring you into sexual acts against your will, or manipulating you through guilt.
Financial/Economic Abuse
Financial Control: Preventing you from getting or keeping a job, forcing you to hand over your paychecks, or withholding access to family bank accounts.
Enforced Dependency: Leaving you with no independent funds, forcing you to ask for money for basic necessities like groceries or diapers.
Credit Sabotage: Secretly ruining your credit score by taking out debts or cards in your name without your knowledge.
Verbal Abuse
Cruel Labeling and Name-Calling: Systematically calling you insulting, derogatory, or profane names designed to destroy your self-worth.
Yelling and Intimidation: Screaming, shouting, or using an aggressive, booming tone to terrify you, back you into a corner, or shut down your voice.
Calculated Blame-Shifting: Verbally attacking you and asserting that their anger, stress, or abusive behavior is entirely your fault.
Cruel Joking and Sarcasm: Masking biting insults, mockery, and mean-spirited barbs as "just a joke," then accusing you of being too sensitive when you get hurt.
Technological and Digital Abuse
Unwanted Monitoring: Demanding passwords to your phone, email, or social media accounts.
Stalking and Tracking: Using GPS tracking apps, hidden cameras, or air tags to constantly monitor your physical location and movements.
Harassment: Sending non-stop text messages or calling repeatedly to demand to know exactly where you are and who you are with.